Recently I came across a Native American parable about the forces that are at war within each of us. The parable characterized these forces as fighting wolves.
As we go through our lives, our daily choices and actions choose which wolf we feed, and therefore give control of our life over too.
But these same wolves are at war in our marriages as well. Through the choices we make in our relationship with our husband or wife, we choose which wolf to feed, and with it, the direction our marriage will take. When we allow anger, resentment and distrust to build up within our hearts, we feed the Evil Wolf, enabling it to take control of our thoughts and emotions, and slowly eat away at our marriage.
Likewise, when we infuse our marriage with grace, forgiveness and unconditional love, we feed, and therefore tip the balance of power in favor of the Good Wolf, improving our relationship with our spouse, and strengthening our marriage.
Which wolf are you feeding?
Are the thoughts you typically entertain regarding your marriage and your spouse, mostly positive, or are they negative? Does it even matter? It definitely does. No matter how small something is, if you fixate on it, it will grow in size until it overwhelms you and becomes the only thing you see. Likewise, when we concentrate on the positives of a situation, or at least refuse to feed the negative ones, the positive attitude that results can help us to focus on the good and work toward the outcome we desire.
I found out during the rebuilding of my marriage, that the thoughts I entertain about my wife, my marriage, and my life in general, have a huge effect on my mood, and especially my attitude towards my wife. I learned that the emotions I carried with me throughout the day, dictated the direction my day would go, regardless of what happened. That by deciding whether concentrate on the negative or positive aspects of my current situation, I decide which feelings I give control over my thoughts, and how I will respond to that situation. Learning and applying this in my life has made a huge difference in my mood and ability to control my anger, changing my marriage forever.
I challenge you to stop concentrating on the negative aspects of your spouse and your marriage, and instead to learn to focus on what is good about it. Over time, doing this will shift the balance of power from the Evil wolf to the Good wolf, changing our life for the better.