Recently I read a story about a couple whose marriage was near divorce from years of neglect and growing apart. Not knowing what to do, the wife took the advice of a friend who suggested that they find ways to spend more time together doing things they both enjoyed. Knowing that her husband wasn’t interested in anything she found fun, she decided to join him in one of his activities. As it was hunting season and he was an avid hunter, she decided to ask him if she could go hunting with him. Stunned when she asked, his only response was “you’ll have to get hunting clothes and you can’t make any noise, you’ll scare the animals away.”
The next weekend, dressed in her new hunting clothes, they headed out to his favorite spot in search of deer. Though they didn’t get anything that day, she found hunting to be very exciting due to the suspense, and not knowing what would happen. That same week they went hunting two more times together, one time, even bringing home a large buck. She was hooked. Hunting became their thing to do together, drawing them closer and ultimately saving their marriage.
Now I’m not saying that going hunting will save your marriage. In this case, what drew this couple back together was the bonding created by the time they spent together, (sounds like dating, doesn’t it?) and the many conversations that resulted from their common shared interest. And this happened because she got out of her comfort zone in an attempt to connect with her husband.
Why does this help
Engaging in recreational activities together can help a relationship because it can satisfy both sexes need to connect in the unique way in which they each bond. As men, we tend to bond with other men through activities that we enjoy. Though there often isn’t much conversation during these activities, we do love to engage in conversations about our hobbies and passions. Women on the other hand, bond with each other, not so much through the activities they do together, but through the in depth conversations that they engage in while doing them.
So it stands to reason, that when a married couple find an activity that they both really enjoy doing together, that over time, it will start to bond them both together. The man, through the activity and through the sharing of a common passion, and his wife, through the conversations that it will invoke during, and in the planning of said activity. It’s a win, win, for everyone.
I almost forgot, this time needs to be about the two of your as a couple, so not children. Got it!
(Disclaimer) Men, this doesn’t mean that your wife should go hunting or fishing with you. It might mean that either you join her in one of her favorite activities, or the two of you try a new activity together as a couple. As with the woman who saved her marriage by trying hunting, you never know what you might enjoy. Personally, my wife and I enjoy camping together, and go as often as we can during the year.
(Another Disclaimer) If you have significant issues in your marriage, it’s likely that it’s going to take more than some shared activities with your spouse to restore your marriage. Don’t let that discourage you from trying to connect with your spouse though. Because these shared activities and the connection they will generate are an excellent first step in building a close relationship with your spouse. Just make sure to seek the help of a professional counselor, coach, or pastor to assist you in continuing the restoration of your marriage.
It is my hope that this post has enlightened you to the benefits of engaging in shared activities with your spouse, and the bonding that they can promote. And that you’ve already started thinking about what activities you and your spouse might enjoy doing together.